Z for effect

The last poem in Hugh Haughton's Chatto Book of Nonsense Poetry (1988) is Paul Muldoon's 'Quoof'. Here's the last-but-one (a version of which is a favourite with my grandpa):

An English Alphabet

A for ’orses
B for mutton
C for yourself
D for dumb
E for brick
F for vescence
G for police
H for retirement
I for an eye
J for oranges
K for restaurant
L for leather
M for size
N for a penny
O for there
P for relief
Q for ticket
R for mo
S for you
T for two
U for mism
V for l’amour
W for a shilling
X for breakfast
Y for Gawd sake
Z for effect.

Haughton writes: ‘Based on the alphabet published in the Daily Express on 20 June 1936, probably derived from the surrealistic alphabet performed by the cross-talk comedians Clapham and Dyer, with interpolations from other alphabets recorded in Eric Partridge, Comic Alphabets, Their Origin, Development, Nature, Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1961.'

Strine

(From 1965. Does 'Afferbeck Lauder' translate into English?)

will they make it big in 2008?

sklepik

treeptych

This one goes out to all the dendrologists, arborophiles, shrub-people, bark-rubbers, twiggers, copse-swains and branch managers. Thanks for welcoming me into the fold! When's the next social?

Instamatic

a friendly face?

them spooky eyes

Goya - El sueno de la razon produce monstruos - 1798

1904

Photo by Edward Curtis

Furgg

everyone needs a favourite motorway

As is the case with a good ten-elevenths of unhemmed posts, this was inspired - if that's quite the word - by something in today's paper. I can't find it on the web, but it was about Martin Parr's most precious objects, one of which was a black-and-white M1 postcard.

In the meantime, why not have a shot at identifying all five panels?

happy noo year