Thursday, January 31, 2008

Z for effect

The last poem in Hugh Haughton's Chatto Book of Nonsense Poetry (1988) is Paul Muldoon's 'Quoof'. Here's the last-but-one (a version of which is a favourite with my grandpa):

An English Alphabet

A for ’orses
B for mutton
C for yourself
D for dumb
E for brick
F for vescence
G for police
H for retirement
I for an eye
J for oranges
K for restaurant
L for leather
M for size
N for a penny
O for there
P for relief
Q for ticket
R for mo
S for you
T for two
U for mism
V for l’amour
W for a shilling
X for breakfast
Y for Gawd sake
Z for effect.

Haughton writes: ‘Based on the alphabet published in the Daily Express on 20 June 1936, probably derived from the surrealistic alphabet performed by the cross-talk comedians Clapham and Dyer, with interpolations from other alphabets recorded in Eric Partridge, Comic Alphabets, Their Origin, Development, Nature, Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1961.'

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When I tell KJA he is name checked in a blog he will be stunned

C for ships
J for orange
O for the garden wall